doctor appointments, sick kid at school) and even then I am having to pull over to vomit. I stay home and only leave the house if I absolutely must (ie. I don't even talk on the phone if I can possibly avoid it. Now I am unable to work and my wife had to start working. Despite seeing only 5 or 6 people during the 8 hour shift, I still could not function and kept getting worse. I stepped down as the GM and took up the night audit. Why is this relevant? At some point during all of this, something snapped (broke? eroded?) in my brain and now I just can't deal with people at all. Then this lead to screaming matches and repeated calls to the police to evict people. Finally I said enough was enough, pay on time or get out. The problem with this was most of the people that came to our hotel were all deadbeats and I had to fight with them every day to get them to pay. Then our county got hit with a tornado and all the hotels are booked for weeks due to homelessness. This resulted in me working 16+ hour days, 7 days a week. So not only did I have to do my job, I had to do the jobs of others (Front Desk, Housekeeping and Maintenance). Then the pandemic hit and my bosses had me cut back staff. At that time I had a career as a Hotel General Manager and I was good at my job despite the fact I had to always force myself to interact with people. I tried a few but was always uncomfortable as hell and I rarely spoke. My mental health was not as bad as it it now, but the guild I connected with insisted that all members participate in group activities. Last time I played was about 3 years ago. Then people say "MMO's are a social game, if you don't like that then don't play them." Yeah, well other games don't constantly add new content and set loftier goals with each update. So many games I play until I am forced to group up to complete content you name it, most likely I've played it. This is how it is with MANY MMO's I have played. Now I have gone through this before with the game which makes me leave for a few years. "Screw this game!" and yanks out the Ethernet cord, destruction and screaming follows for a while So I need to find a group and let me walk you through that experience.ġ.) Put word out to form group - Shakes, sweating, shortness of breathĢ.) Group formed and entering the dungeon - Queue the vomitingģ.) Making mistakes and dying repeatedly - Tears, uncontrollable shaking and then starts the auditory hallucinationsĤ.) Group starts complaining about my performance - Rage!!! This is what causes me to have to buy new keyboards and start yelling at the voices to shut upĥ.) Group decides I am not worth the trouble - F-Bombs in game and at desk. I cleared everything except the three fractal groups. I have been working on the first tier of The Predator.
To say it is extremely difficult for me to group for content would be an understatement. I suffer from Psychotic Depression and Social Anxiety Disorder.
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